Ryukenkan Dojo - Tauranga New Zealand
"Karate in Paradise" - It's a rough task, but someone has to do it!
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Ryukenkan Dojo - Tauranga New Zealand "Karate in Paradise" - It's a rough task, but someone has to do it!
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Secret Techniques of The Old Masters New details have been unearthed giving us a whole new understanding of the methods used in the old days.We are pleased to be able to release some of those techniques here for the first time ever.
Technique Name: Biya Go Baibai Results: Unquenchable Thirst This technique has a number of methods of execution. Often the result of someone forgetting to close the door on the beer fridge resulting in either warm beer, or stolen beer. The worst method of execution is when the wife raids the wallet prior to visiting the pub for a quick cold one.
Technique Name: Hu Du Dat Results: Unclear Vision This dastardly pressure-point attack involves being poked in both eyes simultaneously using either the fingers of a sharp pointy stick.
Technique Name: Ai Go Red Results: Changes facial blood pressure, Renders victim unable to run. Without warning, from any angle, the attacker lunges, grasping firmly on the unsuspecting persons hakama or gi pants and pulling downwards forcefully. This technique is known to result in rapid changes to facial colouration when executed in a public place.
Technique Name: Wei Ya Mai Bo Go Results: Confusion This technique is especially nasty as one tends to execute it on oneself. The results of slippery hands during training with the Bo, the weapon suddenly for unexplained reasons flies from the hands in an undeterminable direction. This technique has been known to cause grievous bodily harm to innocent bystanders.
Technique Name: Ee Ai Dun Pi Results: Lower Body Dampness This technique is only know to occur under two circumstances, the first when the attacker waylays the victim who is in dire need of a bathroom – the results are often humerous to those watching, while the victim is commonly seen resorting to a posture where the knees are knocked together and the hands become preoccupied with defending the lower body. The second use occurs late at night when discussions involving poultry, cooking aids and artificial insemination cause the victim(s) to laugh in an uncontrollable manner resulting in a dire need of a bathroom. Either attack can result in a geography lesson based around the shape of the offending wet patch – often said to resemble a map of the world.
Technique Name: Hi Du Pu Results: Nasal Burning, Eye Fogging, Hair Removal This technique was developed by Master of old who had created the ultimate energy tonic for developing their Ki. The only known ingredients of this tonic are garlic, onions, beans and chili peppers. By utilizing a special Kiai, not uttered from the mouth, but from deep within the body, the Master was able to render the victim helpless in a cloud of malodorous fog. Through constant exposure to ones own fog, the Master became immune to his own Ki.
Technique Name: Yu Nik Mai Sai Results: Weapons suddenly manifesting in the hands of another master This technique was not only experienced by owners of Sai, and the name was changed to reflect which weapon was affected. The core result of the technique was that one Masters weapons were suddenly able to appear in the possession of another Master chiefly through due to the “fact” that the other master apparently needed the weapon more than it’s original owner. This technique was often the precursor to bigger and more dangerous confrontations.
Technique Name: Wei Ya Mai Yen Results: Direct affliction of the financial position After a fight, a Master would only be aware of this technique when he went to buy the first round of beer at the local pub only to find that his wallet had been lifted. This nefarious technique was often the last hope of the vanquished.
Technique Name: Ow Mai But Results: Causes the Victim to stand on tip-toes while cross-eyed Executed from the rear, this technique involves reaching down the hakama or gi pants, firmly gripping the loin cloth and lifting with vigorous force. The direction of focus is to place the loin cloth over the victims head, while still wrapped around the loins. This technique was known in other parts of the world as "El Melvin" or "Ye Olde Wedgie" |
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